Life of a Lemon

Being a lemon is no easy task. Most people think that it is a piece of cake just sitting in a bowl and waiting to be eaten. How wrong they are. Us lemons have feelings too! Just because we are inanimate objects does not take away our sense of vitality and self-awareness. Trust me, we don’t like being eaten.

From the time when we slowly emerged from buds on the fruit farm to the time when we expire, we are always dreading the inevitable. As a matter of fact, we view life in such a sour perspective, we become sour ourselves. This bit of evolution became a lifesaver until the humans arrived. Now, our sour feelings toward them just stimulate their appetites,

I, for one, am not one to sit around feeling sorry for myself, or blaming humans for causing us so much grief. Instead, I use my time to prepare myself to live the longest. I arrived in a home after being purchased at a local grocery store. I currently reside in a small glass bowl on the top of a long wood table in a large room, amongst a few other fruits. Not that I mean any disrespect, but the other fruits are nowhere close to my intellectual league. All they do is brag about how they’ve increased their ethylene production tenfold with their new diets. The fools. They have no clue that doing so will expedite their demise. Rather than participate in that sort of intellectually degrading activity, I pride myself in extended longevity. My skin makes me look like when I was barely 20 days old. I suppose that’s why I have remained in the bowl the longest.

Now, you might be thinking, “Why is living in a bowl the longest a good thing?” Well, the first most obvious reason is that I am still alive right now. Why, the poor banana was consumed last week by some giant ape of a man right after he ate lunch! His excuse was that eating fruits late was better than never. Pathetic.

Being a rather curious individual, I also pick up on a lot of very interesting conversations that the residents I coincide with make. It differs from day to day, but patterns do occur. For instance, during the winter season, most of the conversations have to do with a fat red man by the name of “Santa Claus.” Why, they even leave out cookies and milk to attempt to entice the poor fellow to give free gifts! Other times, the conversations can be very unusual, and very emotional. Sometimes, I hear unspeakable secrets that individual do not wish to be repeated. Luckily for them, I am a very quiet and respectful audience.

What most people don’t realize is how much a lemon can be in their lives. Our role is varied, from decoration, to flavoring, to secret-keeping. If only they would allow us to live our lives out to their fullest, then we would be more than happy to provide them the services that they expect from us. There will be no bad lemon.

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~ by rupendajee on April 22, 2009.

One Response to “Life of a Lemon”

  1. This is an amazing article no doubt. No surprise though coming from this author. I would love to read some more. =D

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